Monday, December 15, 2008 by Myke.

I am going to try my hardest to hold back as much as possible on this one but I am not promising anything.  I will start with, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU MORONS?!?  I understand that some folks have their belief system and that is great.  If you think Christmas is bad, don’t celebrate it.  But for F**K SAKE, do not create a back woods attention whore video showing your dumb ass beliefs!  Go back to raping goats and sheep, keep your family tree straight and un-forked and stay in the shack your ma and pa built.  The Holiday season is a time where we can share and be happy, not scared that Santa will rape our children.  I mean come on, the signs actually scared me.

Fag Santa - I thought he was married to that old lady called Mrs Claus.
God hates Obama - Did he tell you this?
Fag X-Mas - I am not getting this at all.
Markets crash God laughs - Why would he laugh, then no one would give to the church???
Santa’s little helpers (sign of butt sex) - Wow!  That is how you see elves?  Did you not see Will Farrell playing Elf?  He was quite happy banging his lady friend and making babies.
Pagan Idol (picture of Christmas tree) - Again, you lost me.
Satan Claus - Um, I think you stole this from the movie “The Last Boy Scout”.
X-Mas gospel = Hell - So singing Christmas carols is going to send me to hell…a little late f**kers.  I was already going long before singing carols.  Take for instance those that read my blogs…they are going too. 
God hates X-Mas - So again, he told you this?!?
Soldiers die God laughs - One answer for this…F**K off and die you sick twisted goat f**kers.  Our soldiers die and you laugh and claim God laughs.  May you not only fall down and split your melon on a curb but I hope a homeless person steals your clothes while you are down.
You will eat your children - No, not happening.  I may eat meat but it is of the grazing kind from farms.  You know, the ones you like to have butt sex with.  Here is a clue…mooooooooooo ugh ugh ugh moooooooooooo…baaaaaaaaaaaa ugh ugh ugh baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

The video that started my fear.

Now I know posting about this dumb ass group is also giving them the attention they do not deserve but come on folks…we need people like this to make fun of.  Think about it, without these types of people who would ride the short buses?  That’s right, the short buses are for educated handicap children not hill billy goat herders.

If you really need a good laugh and proof you are smarter than the average hill billy, visit http://www.priestsrapeboys.com/.

Posted in Rant, WTF | Print | 4 Comments »

Monday, December 15, 2008 by Myke.

…that Mexicans are leaving the US for Mexico.  That’s right folks, they are leaving the US citing layoffs, dwindling job opportunities, and a perceived anti-immigrant sentiment.  Okay, so maybe I marched and protested them every once in a while but come on Ese…it was nothing but love, I swear.

The funny thing is this, some Mexicans are not running for Mexico.  Some of them are going to places that historically have not seen a large population of Mexicans. They are running to place like North Carolina, Georgia, Idaho and Alaska.  ROFLMAO!  I am picturing them showing up in Alaska during the 6 months of light or 30 days of night.  “Mierda Pedro, ¿dónde está el sol?”  I do not want to even go into what will happen when they start to migrate to NC and GA…bad things happen to folks there.  Of course, the local Bubba crew could always show Pedro Inc. what a “tractor pull” is.  If you got that last joke, you are as sick as me and that is scary!

I have a great idea.  Why don’t we all make a run of our own and head to Mexico?  We could get jobs with Nike or making clothes for Martha Stewart.

Just remember folks, we are all immigrants technically.

Some Mexicans leaving US

Posted in Funny | Print | 3 Comments »

Monday, December 15, 2008 by Myke.

Ha, I told you those iPhones were evil.  There is a glitch on them that is being considered and named the “Dirty Scumbag” virus.  Of course depending on who you are will determine how much of this story you believe.

This story is from a thread posted on Apple Support.  Just to recap the poor blind and ignorant woman’s plea for help…
“Please help! I took my husband’s i-phone and found a raunchy picture of him attached to an e-mail to a woman in his sent e-mail file (a Yahoo account). When I approached him about this (I think that he is cheating on me) he admitted that he took the picture but says that he never sent it to anyone. He claims that he went to the Genius Bar at the local Apple store and they told him that it is an i-phone glitch: that photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent. Has anyone ever heard of this happening? The future of my marriage depends on this answer! ”

Seriously…a glitch that pictures just randomly attach themselves to phones…really?!?  First of all, her husband is a lying dirt bag whore and she is a gullible and ignorant twit.  Is this what this world is coming to, we blame technology on everything.  I thought the rule was that we blamed our parents for beating us, our uncle for touching us and the drugs we took.  Whatever happened to the good old days of Jerry Springer when it was always someone else’s fault???  Now it is our phones fault or our laptop/computer that is causing our problems.

Towards the end of the thread you will find her claiming that she has her attorney working on her divorce papers.
“Add that picture to the late night phone calls and some other miscellaneous texts and e-mails that I found … and this is not the first woman … and let’s just say that my atty is working on the divorce complaint.
Nonetheless, I wanted to remain open to the possibility that it was all some big mistake (I think that he is the big mistake) and thank everyone who provided input on this discussion. “

Truthfully, I hope she is following through with the divorce.

Now as funny as this story is, it is also sad and disturbing.  So I decided to pull out to comments made by a couple of users…note - I think they were posted by this ladies husband trying to cover his a$$.

“Susan, it’s most DEFINITELY a glitch. I’ve had it happen several times on my phone, as have my coworkers who use iPhones.  The reason the answers here have been so skeptical is just how rare photo use is with the iPhone, as well as the apps installed on the phone that would cause this. It has to be under very UNUSUAL circumstances that it can happen–yet it can and does frequently.  Please ignore any of the “troll” answers you’re getting causing you grief. (You can find a definition of troll at www.urbandictionary.com )  Hopefully, this bug will be resolved in the next firmware update.”

“This has definitely happened to me a couple times too. At first I thought it was just accidental with the phone being in my pocket and just jumping around, but since the first two times I have made sure I have locked it.  I don’t really know how to fix it but its starting to worry me. My phone has already sent pictures to the girl I like, my grandmother as well as a buddy of mine. Thankfully none of them have been too ranchy.”

And in case anyone was still concerned about the “glitch,” a former Mac Genius gave his official diagnosis: “My professional opinion is that YOUR HUSBAND IS HAVING AN AFFAIR.”

Posted in WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »