Wednesday, April 27, 2011 by Myke.

A good friend of mine recently asked me if I would ever run for President of the US.  I responded by saying no because I do not have the money to do so.  But it got me to thinking…what would I do if I could run for President.  What would I change?  How would I run things?  Who would be my running mate?

So here goes folks, the campaign for Presidency in 2012 begins now!

I am hereby declaring myself to run for President of these United States in the year 2012 and my running mate will be Travis Sarbin.  We will run as a private party with no ties to the Tea Party, the Democrats or the Republicans.  We are Right and Left Brain.  I have no religious ties and Travis is LDS.  We are married men with children.  We have mortgages, bills, car payments, bratty kids, careers, wives that we consider our best friends and we have guns.  We are not perfect and we have not led clean and perfect lives.  We are not afraid to share with anyone the things we have done in our lives from the day we learned to walk.  We did not have perfect childhood lives and we got whooped when we got out of line.  We know what it will take to fix this country but it will take more than just the two of us *queue the song, Just the Two of us*.  It will take an entire nation to band together and follow our lead.

Step 1 - Privatize the prison system:  If you want criminals to feel the pain and suffering that they caused, then let us privatize the prison system.  The tax payers will no longer pay to house a criminal.  Criminals will work for their food and medical care.  Criminals will be treated as criminals, no special treatment.  The law will be simple, and eye for an eye.  You kill someone, you die.  Death row will no longer exist.  If we have DNA proof and all other evidence is in line, you die.  If you are sentenced to any other term other than death then you will be sentenced to secluded islands where you can earn your way back into society.  Death Race and Death Island will become a reality.  Race for your freedom or survive for your freedom and for our entertainment.  No matter how much money or power you have, you cannot buy your way out of a prison sentence.  Rapists and child molesters will be sold as prostitutes within the prison system by the prison company.  If you rape, prepared to get raped on a regular basis.  We will learn to live by the new saying, “If you do the crime, you will do the time”.

Step 2 - Legalize Marijuana:  Marijuana will be legal to all individuals 21 years old or older.  It will be taxed and regulated like liquor.  The tax on marijuana will be 45% in all 50 States.  Each State will be allowed 50 dispensaries and no more.  The 45% tax will be broken down as follows - 20% will go to schools and education for grades K through 12, 20% will go to the national debt until it is paid and the remaining 5% will go to the State budget fund.  Once the national debt is paid, then that 20% will go to national parks and landmarks.  Marijuana will only be smoked/used/consumed in the confines of your home or dispensary or regulated establishment.  This will not only help our debt as a nation, but it will bring a certain calm to our nation and it will help get people of off other drugs and pharmaceutical drugs.  If you allow marijuana to be consumed legally, then drug users will start to back away from other drugs such as meth, cocaine and prescription drugs.  Hemp can be used for clothing and other consumer goods which will bring in another source of income for our nation.  Marijuana is better for you that 95% of the prescription drugs out there.  Get your calculators out and look at what it could do for our nations economy.  Let’s say there was $10 billion dollars sold in the first year.  That is $4.5 billion dollars collected in tax money from sales alone.  Of that, $900 million dollars will go to our nations schools and another $900 million dollars to our national debt.  I know that does not hit the debt to hard but think about it…it keeps going up right now.  After 10 years that is $9 billion dollars added to our schools and $9 billion dollars subtracted from our debt.  It adds up quick.

Step 3 - Reorganize the government:  Currently it is every man for himself in the senate and in congress with the “good old boy” clicks ruling the way.  No more. Every sector of the government will be on 8 year terms, no more. Once your 8 years is up you are out and will no need to provide for yourself just like the rest of us do.  No more retirement pay for politicians.  All government jobs will be capped on their pay, including the President himself/herself. All senators and congressmen will earn $50K/year and the President and Vice-President will earn $75K/year. if you need more, get another job.

Step 4 - Government agency cutbacks:  Law enforcement and intelligence will still receive funding but at a lower rate.  We will begin by making regulatory agencies start funding themselves as they will only receive a very small funding from the tax payers.  They will learn to get more efficient rather than just get bigger/larger.

Step 5 - Confiscated funds:  When law enforcement and military seize money/goods, it is now theirs to help fund their groups.  If we seize $150 million dollars of drug cartel money we use it.  We will no longer just store it away as evidence.  This alone would bring in around $2 billion dollars annually.

Step 6 - Skynet:  Any questions?  If we continue to get dumb as a society, then let the machines take over.  Maybe that is a bit overboard and extreme, but we are getting dumber and lazier.

Step 7 - Taxation:  There will be a tax bracket for all incomes.  If you make $50K/year you will be taxed less than the person that makes $500K/year.  The more money you make the more you get taxed…plain and simple.  No more free rides bitches.

Step 8 - Welfare:  You will need to qualify for welfare/food stamps and keep qualifying every single month.  Each person can only receive these funds for a total of 2 years, no more.  After that, you better have a job that can pay your bills.  While on welfare/food stamps you cannot have any more children, if you do you lose that privilege for life.

Step 9 - Social Security: These are funds that are locked away and can only be used for Social Security purposes. there will be no borrowing or using these funds for any other purpose.

Step 10 - National Health-care: You may apply for this if you want it but no one is required to do so. If a company provides health-care to their employees then they receive a tax break each year on the amount of money they paid into it. If a company does not offer health-care to their employees, then get taxed higher…period.

Step 11 - Medical/Dental fees: Every single sector of the health-care world will charge the exact same price no matter how good you are or think you are. If I go see Doctor X he will charge the exact same amount as Doctor Y. These fees will be set in stone and will increase 1% every 8 years and no more.

Step 12 - Gun control: If you own a gun or want to own a gun, you will attend a class every 4 years to prove you are still worthy of owning a gun. You can own any gun you care to own as long as you can hold it with your own 1 or 2 hands. There will be harsh punishments in place for any misuse or idiotic ownership. If your child steals your gun and takes it to school and shoots or just shows it off, you will be held liable and so will your child.

We could go on for days but I think you get where we are taking this list. We as a society have gone overboard and we need to take a stand and correct this crap. To be honest, I would not be surprised if there is another civil war in the US the way things are going.

One last note, we will furnish our birth certificates from day 1…not 3+ years into our term.

Posted in The Facts, Rant | Print | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, April 27, 2011 by Myke.

So I dare CSI, CSI NY or CSI Miami to make this into a show.

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, (AAFS) President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject ‘A’ but kills subject ‘B’ in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject ‘B.’ When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn’t actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist.. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.

The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

Posted in The Facts, WTF | Print | 1 Comment »

Monday, April 25, 2011 by Myke.

If you know me, then you know I love the NFL and my Vikings.  I do not care if we have the worst season ever, I still love my Vikings.  After watching and listening to the labor dispute/lockout/whining session I have had just about enough.  I had not picked a side during this whole thing but watching and listening to players I have decided to side with the owners on this one.  Why?  Very simple…

The players say they deserve more money from their rookie season and on and even after they retire.  If you feel you deserve more money, then f’ing earn it.  Invest your money into something and see if it earns anything.  If you make some money, great…but if you fail and lose your hard earned money, deal with it!  That is exactly what the owners did on you when they signed/drafted you.  Think about it dumbass.  You want your owner, who is basically your boss, to give you more money for just being a player within the NFL even if you suck balls and fail…but the owner is not allowed to get his money back when you suck balls and fail.  Is that fair?!?  The owners OWN the team and you are just another employee that has a job to do.  I have a job and a boss…heck I have 2-3 bosses depending on the project.  Just because I kick ass on a project does not give me the right to scream and throw a fit and tell them to give me more money or else I will not work for a few weeks.  If I did that, I would be FIRED and someone else would get my job.  NFL players can be replaced, very easily…just like I can.

I personally feel like the NFL has a big hole to fill and it will take some work, but it can be done.  Cap the rookies so they stop f’ing the NFL up, give the players a retirement plan to play for with benefits so when they retire they can still live a decent life with health benefits.  If a player decides to not opt for the NFL retirement plan, then they are on their own.  They can figure out their own savings and benefits in life.  Just like the rest of us, we have to earn our retirement and we have to earn our benefits.  We cannot just scream for more money and tell our bosses that after working for 5-10 years we want full benefits and a large pension as well.  If players want to earn more money from their teams, then they have to do more.  They have to work in the front office, work charities, clean toilets, clean uniforms, wash some jock straps or whatever else the owner decides they need to do that day.

Did you know that the average NFL salary is $800,000/year?  On top of that salary they receive numerous perks and a large portion of players have one or more endorsements that pay them even more money.  Did you also know that during this labor lockout, current players and former players are comparing the NFL to Nazi camps and even referring to playing in the NFL as “modern day slavery”???  WTF?!?  I hate to be the person to inform your uneducated ass but slaves did not make $800K in a year, did not drive what ever vehicle they wanted or eat 3 meals a day…or have an entourage behind them.  And to compare the NFL to Nazi camps, that is just plain stupid and VERY uneducated.  If you want to know what slavery is like though, that can be arranged in certain countries…oh yeah, we have slavery in the USA right now.  There are sex slaves, immigrant slaves, drug slaves and so on.  How about you work for one of the drug cartels as a drug slave for 6 months and then tell me what was worse…the NFL or the drug cartel.  To say that working in the NFL is that bad, find another job/career.  There is thousands of other players that would kill for your job or even your opportunity.  Better yet, how about you go work for McDonalds for 1 year at $9.00/hour and tell me if you want back into the NFL or not.  There are millions of people in the US alone that will never see what you will make in 5 years during their entire life time.  The last time I looked, no NFL team burned or hung a player because they got tired of them or because they had a different religious belief or because they were of a different skin color.  Next time you want to say something profound like comparing your job to a Nazi camp or slavery…go visit a modern slave or read a f’ing book.

The owners bought their teams and they decided how to run them.  They have employees and bills to pay just like the players and have bills to pay.  If the players do not like the treatment they are getting, then quit.  Go stock my grocery shelves, flip a burger, become a stock broker, sell a house…get a job like the rest of us.  We as fans pay your salaries whether you understand that or not.  We have a right to boo you when you make dumb plays and cheer for you on great plays, it is our right as a fan…that pays your salary.  We have a right to voice our opinion about the labor dispute as a fan…that pays your salary.

I am a fan of the NFL, but enough is enough guys.  You get paid to entertain us, but piss us off enough and we will find other ways to entertain ourselves.  Remember one thing, the fans ARE and WILL always be the largest investor the owners have.

Myke Reinhold
Fan of the NFL and the Minnesota Vikings since 1980

Posted in Pro Sports, Rant | Print | 1 Comment »

Friday, September 10, 2010 by Myke.

I have watched this video over and over and cannot stop laughing.  I know this had to hurt, but this video alone will bring a few thousand more viewers to their show. “…they don’t call it the Amazing Race for nothing…” - yet another bitch slap into her numb face.

Posted in Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, July 22, 2010 by Myke.

Yes folks, the Westboro Baptist Church has found another group to protest against…nerds and geeks.  HUGE mistake as we will destroy the stupid group of the World.  the WBC is so damn idiotic and stupid it actually hurts listening to them.  So to have fun with the protest, the geeks and nerds started their own protest of the protest.  Epic fun begins right away.

WBC, please just crawl into a hole of a dead Tan Tan and rot away so we no longer have to listen to your garbage!

Posted in Rant, Hater, WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, July 22, 2010 by Myke.

And he sings it better than I could.

Posted in Music/Movie, WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 by Myke.

This is pretty damn funny and to be honest I think they both have some serious marble issues.  I like them both as actors but I think their fame and fortune have drove them bat-s**t crazy!  This is very NSFW so please do not get fired for these idiots. 

EMBED-Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale - Watch more free videos

Posted in Rant, Hater, Music/Movie, WTF, Funny | Print | No Comments »

Thursday, June 24, 2010 by Myke.

ROFLMAO!  I just watched this video and just about died laughing so hard.  I think I might try and put this CD on a CD player at Ross and crank it up…see how long it plays before someone stops it.

Posted in Music/Movie, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, June 24, 2010 by Myke.

So let’s say you take a video of Diet Coke and Mentos (seen a million times now) but slow down the video and add the right music…things get very, um, well…I will let you be the judge.  “Towel please!”

Slow motion soda explosion from David Coiffier on Vimeo.

Posted in Music/Movie, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, June 17, 2010 by Myke.

Have you ever sat there and thought, “I wonder what would happen if Waldo and Hitler had a child together?  What would that child look like?”  Well wonder no more ladies and gentlemen…here’s HITDO!

Posted in Photo Bombing, WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »